recently caught the nutcracker ballet in time for the holiday season. first ballet i sat through without sleeping- it was that good. being able to see the stage helps, too.

it was a very very strange night.

3am and i'm at page 0 of 15 pages i need to produce by 12noon.

and obviously not working very hard now.

back from a running high. eight hours of sunlight means winter has come, and this winter, it brings gratefulness, to pick a word that encompasses this time. i learn that nostalgia is a bad emotion, but too much time lost between the lesson and its learning. this year needs to pass slower - slowly, now.

it's all in the head!

crazy weather and hormones flying around with school winding down and pressure cranking up. how to go to italy like that?

ok fantasy so over. the world's right again! different destiny to fulfill, and it's going to be kickass!

and it SNOWED like crazy today

i always read the acknowledgments when i start on a history book. the sense of family is irresistibly strong, and the names of teachers past and colleagues present have become so familiar, almost loved. i'm idealizing my hypothetical place in this imagined universe that i'm drawn to but can't plunge into wholeheartedly. it's a vivid fantasy though, and i'm starting to feel that i shouldn't have come here for one year, that i should have stuck to my all-or-nothing philosophy more honestly, and not put one toe into grad school. i'm not learning as i know i should, nor not-learning as i could either. wah lau. i'm just damned sad tonight, after being with a bunch i probably should keep as far away from as possible, because everything's just so wrong

BARBARIANS

bribe turned genuine token of friendship paper napkin flower


sanest of us all


i said candid shot! most outrageous person i know


my favorite bear, ever




And the best pic is yet to be in my possession, with the biggest baddest barbarian of them all. let's just say piggybacking 2 people who tower over me isn't a good idea - especially when they decide it's my turn to be in the air.

Will try and show girl who torments me with affection all the time - the only person who's managed to get me to talk about myself without knowing her for years first.

Probably means something when the people i spend tonnes of time with are aspiring professors. the fit's not entirely smooth, though, and sometimes it's easier to be with the aspiring/current government people. Different conversations, more of fascination with the first and relaxed solidarity with the others. Then there're those who understand the nuances of the craziness that's naturalized into our situations, and who bear witness to my burstful spirit when i need someone who knows where i'm coming from.

a bit miffed at social and cultural studies