turns out i don't have a weak knee from injuring it 10 yrs ago. there's a huge piece of bone floating around in the knee area, probably from when i "sprained" it (bloody hell! it was a fracture and the doctor didn't know cos he didn't xray me! lesson to all - xray suspected sprains). my fracture this year has become a huge blessing in disguise. all that pain and fear and consequent drama paid off - i'm going for surgery, will hopefully have a normal knee that can climb mountains and run marathons, after so many years.

i'm writing about this because there were nasty moments this year when i thought i wouldn't regain full use of my knee, and now, there's a chance of being stronger than before. argh i want to cry. but no expectations, still. surgery could go horribly wrong.

"May God break my heart so completely that the whole world falls in." - Mother Theresa

too much talking about nothing. so ready to focus youthful hungry energies.