i will not play with substances anymore

so, the monologue continues. GLARE. I know you guys are reading this blog grrrrr. Don't worry shup i've been camping in the library trying to feel stressed out for finals take your time to continue our comments conversation. this is what we've been reduced to, comments conversation, grrrrrr.

i'm going mad with caffeine grrrrr. i liked how awake from coffee i was last night so i tried a large freddo today, and found out it's actually quite damn strong. so now i'm jittery and my eyes can't focus and i'm shaking like crazy. and i feel like vomiting on and off. but i'm writing my paper extra quick! zip zip! whee! grrrrr. i want to run and run and run and never stop, or yak my head off to anyone who'll listen with all his heart and not kill me, or climb the highest wall here and yell out my innermost secrets. my god i'm high.

my heart is so full these days i don't know what to think anymore. i want to rationalise everything the senses take in, but fauziah, damn, same problem as always, cannot decide on anything. i need you here! any of you! christmas is coming, the time to feel damn alone and lost.

i'm so incoherent sorry the caffeine is talking and i'm going to regret spilling all this but i feel reckless and very open now. so, there. bye everyone, till the next high, which hopefully will be from something more potent to celebrate the end of one semester. i want to feel warm and fuzzy, not jittery and impulsive. arrrghh.