hmm had a talk with my history teacher which made me qn academic integrity and whether it matters at all. do you future teachers think it's right if say your scholarship is at stake becos of bad grades and you tell your teacher and explain that you were sick and your teacher bumps you up a grade, and this is totally legal? i somehow feel that there's something wrong with this.. and it requires a lot of honesty on the student's part to retain integrity. not that i did it or am thinking of doing this, i actually told him to please grade me fairly for the final now that he knows that i've requirements to fulfill (we had a nice chat about singapore and the government and how he has a Lebanese scholarship too except the money goes to his dad, not him), and that i was shocked this system is acceptable. wah crap i'm going to worry about this, and now i really feel the pressure to do really well on the final to prove that i deserve an A. i've to prove to myself that i deserve the A that i want from this class that intrigues me the most but is causing me the most grief of all my classes.

hmm to him a B+/A- is "good", but i was so depressed when i got it. he says there're all this artificial unnecessary pressures placed on us by ourselves mostly. i'm just afraid that it stems from arrogance. slap me if i ever get cocky k.

indian dinner of lamb vindaloo, chicken tikka masala, spinach aloo thing with naan and rice! i wonder if i'll keep in touch with the friends i've made in this history section next semester, or if we'll be swept up by the rush of a new semester. it feels like it's evergreen here, time spans are fleeting, and we constantly have to face new challenges; it's built into the system. it's why i like the american system so much. intense with continual renewal.