can you tell i have a lot of time

hey shup thanks for your reply to my email... i'm going to post what i wrote you, that we cannot forget that we're the eternally optimistic, the eternally youthful, the eternally eager, because when we revisit old entries i want us to be reminded of this. i think it's not possible to be happy all the time, and because we can feel the joy of living ecstatically sometimes, it can go the other way just as easily, and so being in the dumps really sucks big time for us. at least we have each other to wallow together or to pull each other out of the shit holes we land in.
not that i'm complaining about life now that exam week crisis is over for me. it's just i decided to wander around in san francisco alone today, and the sheer loneliness of being in a foreign place struck me. being alone forced me to really take in my surroundings, and while it was interesting to hear people talk about their lives (they whine a lot over here), i felt terribly vulnerable and severed from the world i call my own. i'm afraid that i'm getting too comfortable here at berkeley. is it natural to like being here, abroad, as much as i do? have i just created another comfort zone to cruise around in? this is why i feel this constant urge to do more, to plan for a busier next semester, to learn more things. to basically feel that i cannot cope so that i can struggle and feel some pain. i need pain to feel alive. i wan tot be alive with rage. bwahaha.

no idea what i'm talking about now. see the silence of jo and fuzzy is making me insane and so i ramble to fill up the silence (rosencrantz and guildernstern!).

oh yeah fuzzy i just watched before sunrise. what do you think of the guy? compared to the girl he's so cynical and grrrrr. watch before sunrise! the girl's strong and passionate and PRETTY. you'll be inspired by her my babes. i think you all liked before sunset right.
DON'T WATCH "SAW" LATE INTO THE NIGHT AND THEN SHOWER EVEN LATER INTO THE NIGHT. bloody freaking scared. even now. especially in san francisco when i was walking and imagining psychos coming after me.

have to brave the shower now. see you all. grrrrr.