i typed and wanted to whine about the amount of shit i ploughed through the past week. but girls, death has crept out of the shadows and is staring starkly at us. i don't care for all that existential angst crap anymore. i cannot breathe thinking how near we are to extinction as who we are on this world. there's no time to wallow in self-pity or futile speculation when there's so much more to feel. it's sick how i can think about myself at this time when what i urgently need is a phone number to get to someone's voice telling me we can return to the past when our sight was short and shut out the unpleasant bits.

my god it's happening all over again. this is a sobering kind of fright, when it's so real you can't really feel anything because you're focussed on clawing away from it.
you probably won't read this, but i will follow you into the dark, just as i did for someone else 6 years ago.

more to you all in emails.

this is just a shout out to myself and the world to
1) LISTEN. never take words lightly. never take the lack of words lightly.
2) TALK. let's express our deepest concerns and fears and joys. let's not make the loneliness of uniqueness more acute by hiding always.

ok, now for that which i need to do.