midterm blues

heya babes....

yeah i'll try to set a good precedent by having a good 20th birthday :) in any case, it wont be the same without my family and without my cheekygirls beside me. as u get older, birthdays become less of a big deal? i can't be the only one to feel that way. haha sometimes i just wanna get this ageing thing over and done with!! like enough already, ive jus entered the big 20s so let me be.

hahaha.. feeling kinda grumpy cos well.. the wk didnt get off to a gd start, i skipped monday lessons (rather impt lessons) cos i was smashed the night before at my friends' place and i hadnt done any hw at all to hand in. i remember rolling abt on the floor laughing cos i was playing stupid games w my friends, one of whom was a little gone too. he was sometimes sober, and sometimes collapsing on the floor or on the bed w hysteria. i think he has xin shi, cos yeah he was saying, if u dun have xin shi why r u drinking before he kinda fell down. quite disturbing seeing that he is normally very level headed.

wow. and i wonder how i will survive the rest of term. nvm better work that much harder and go gym more to detox. it's hard living, babes. sometimes i jus really really wanna go home because it's so familiar and so comforting to have a family to return to. over here, i could easily disappear voluntarily or otherwise, just around a dodgy street corner not far from where i live, or maybe i'll jus take a train to dublin or smth and start a new life there working in the beer refinery. the possibilities are endless, but of no comfort to me. i don't know why im still feeling the blues this late into my first yr! maybe it's the stress of studying (or NOT studying) maybe it's the cold maybe its the bad food maybe it's the rude londoners maybe it's cos i miss the streets and sounds of singapore.. i dont know. but wow. is this what overseas studying is spposed to be like???