stresssssss

ARGH
i feel so antsy these days, like i'm in this perpetual mad rush to do all the school and planning work that's rained down on me in the first weeks of school. too much worrying! especially regarding the family; learnt recently that the old troubles may be back soon, and i've this urgent need to run back and be head-of-the-familyish as always, and get stressed out and all angsty along with my mom. damn you damn you and also you for making me worry all the time all these years, for screwing us up (but thanks for making babe and i grow up much earlier than we should have, cos that's maturity i guess), for being less than i thought you two should have been and so making me doubt myself always. now i need to grow up even more, because we're turning 20 bleahhh, especially soon for you jo! may we not go mad in our swinging twenties. anyway, despite all the work, my first letter has been mailed, to shup, with a little bit of peru inside, the rest should follow suit soon =) the less time you have the less you waste heh heh so i'm more productive already.
fuzzy, got your email, thanks for the info. nepal/cambodia, here we come! my god, we're going to be so messed up. we're the worst travellers the world has seen i think. can't wait.
eh jo, you must set a precedent with your happening 20th birthday celebration.
finally, here's a silent farewell to the souls that drew mine out and danced with it in a mad swirl for too brief a time for the spirit not to be muted now. sorry if this makes sense to me only.