don't understand how you can maintain two selves. socializing doesn't count, cos it's a game after all, and if you play by the broad rules you'll get by without anyone thinking beyond the face you put up. or at least you don't care if they do. it's not a self. i reject your idea of having two consciousnesses that are cleanly cut from each other; i'm so angry that you can absolve yourself from everything by adding another self to your being. i'm so angry because i can't do it. when my soul is wounded i end up gnarly and impatient and feeling like shaking a kid whom i normally love for being devilish when i tutor. but i don't because my ungnarly self stops me?! no i don't because that frustration is part of me and i control it or run away, not because i've another self that can stop the crazy self.
and finally, i am so angry (but it's all been let out while fuming at and crying over love me if you dare) that everyone is fighting so hard, and yet the world seems to say that it's not worth it at all. i'm avoiding contact, because ultimately i'm afraid i guess, and hence angry.

fuzzy: eh reply to my email leh. they've started to kill people in nepal. but the organization does seem quite capable of taking care of us. should we trust them?
shup: jia you! sunshine awaits both of us. and hmmm you're the one who likes love me if you dare right. hmmmmmmm.
jo: take care my friend. you sound like jo still over msn. don't take in too much booze k.

wah i sound very angsty right. needed to get all the horrible tension out of my system. a good cry is just a good cry, need cold rationalizing or i'll go mad. don't worry my friends chim will be back soon with a big grin to bling up Singapore. i booked such an early flight that i'm flying before my final paper is due. so screwy right =)