self(=other)-hood

words are sharpening my sense of self, and at the same time letting me discover solidarities with others. my jap hist prof should be proud of me. but words aside, it's not easy, this self-finding business. learning limitations of ability, of heart, of spirit = collapse of whatever stupid illusions i had of myself before.

but this honesty makes it easier to live well day-by-day, instead of always planning for the next holiday, the next weekend, the next meal even.

ok, enough vague crap. this is just a brief update, so the blog won't be truly dead =( and i promised my schedule, kind of
singapore m'sian club = big mistake on my part
daily cal (sch newspaper) = experiment in what i think could have been my other life, results not out yet fuzzy, but we'll have another reckoning this summer, yes?
oases = current wonder at how i'll ever be a good teacher with the little devil in my com service grp. i hate him! yes! i hate a kid! and i wish i could be as childish as he is to me, but i continue to try and win his black little heart grrr
urap = like another class, this research program, but superinteresting. academia here i come?? i'm most likely going to try for east asian studies/chinese hist for master's, crazy thought right, considering my history with chinese lang.
classes = arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

back to midterm studying and caffeinated dreaming